Andy's World Wide Web SiTe

Star-struck...but just a little ;)

2009-08-19T23:32:00.002-04:00

So I've been doing background (extra) work for several months now and I have had the opportunity to see some pretty talented actors in, well, action. No pun intended. Ted Dansen, the cast of Ugly Betty, Law & Order SVU, Royal Pains, and others. I haven't really been starstruck. It's been really cool to see some famous faces, but I don't know, I just haven't found myself overly ecstatic or anything. I don't know that I ever will be, I suppose. Although I should say I came close when I was on set with Carol Burnett. That was very cool.

But today, I worked on a set with one of our generation's greatest actors. I had to constrain myself a little to keep my composure. Ladies and gents, I had the privelege of being within arms-length of Mr. Al Pacino just about all day today. I got to work on the set of HBO's 'You don't know Jack,' a film about Jack Kevorkian, which Mr. Pacino is playing the title role. It was so cool, to say the least. I started thinking of all the films I've seen him in and my head started swimming. I was thinking "Say hello to my little friend!" is sitting right here next to me! 'Heat' is in my top 10 movie list, maybe even top 5, and here he is! I quickly had to stop entertaining all the memories just to stay focused on the task at hand.

The task at hand was simply to start right next to Mr. Pacino, walk into a restaurant, find a seat and enjoy the party. But we had to have shot the scene at least 25 times, so whenever we would reset I would go back and stand by Mr. Pacino and get to eavesdrop on his conversations with the director about how to make tweaks and adjustments to improve each time. Very cool to witness. And to top it off, John Goodman was in the scene too. What a riot he was, cracking jokes between takes.

It was a fun, interesting day to say the least. How cool! Al Pacino!

Inspiration...Apocalypse, U2, Music

2009-07-20T09:30:00.003-04:00

It's only 9:30 am today and I've already had a series of Inspirational events. I had a dream in the night that the world was coming to an end. "Sounds real encouraging." I know, I know. But 6 hours later, I feel more encouraged by it than afraid.

I dreamed that I was home with a large family. We began to hear this increasingly loud and completely foreign sound that I can't really describe. It was the sound of countless asteroids ripping through the atmosphere. None of them had yet hit the earth, but I had a sense that it was only a matter of seconds. I felt like I was watching our natural world in it's final transition before the heavens were opened to us all and the end was finally upon us. I woke with a fear that I would be found ready and prayed that God would make me faithful to Him. It was a terrible, good kind of fear.

When I woke up this morning, hours after the dream, I had a U2 song in my head. I actually don't listen to U2 that often and I didn't remember half the words of the song so I popped in my headphones while I made biscuits and coffee. The song was "When I look at the World" from their All That You Can't Leave Behind album. I teared up as I listened to the lyrics. They rang true in me with my thoughts and desires to love people more and love them well in my neighborhood. You can click here for the complete lyrics, but here is the climax of the song for me...

I can't wait any longer

I can't wait till I'm stronger

Can't wait any longer

To see what you see

When I look at the world

I've prayed many, many times in the last couple years that God would give me eyes like Jesus. Eyes that see our world differently. Eyes that see not only the pain and heartache that we seem so desperate to mask, but also eyes that see what could be with God's Kingdom upon us. It's a good song. I recommend giving it a listen again if it's been awhile, or if you haven't yet heard it. Hear it on itunes.

Lastly I was inspired by my boy this morning. As I looped the U2 song a few times he kept turning around in his little play-saucer-thingy and smiling at the cd player as if to give his sign of pleasure with the music. It's fun to watch a baby interact with new things, and he encounters new things constantly.

Nertz: Andy vs. Janet vs. Jessica

2009-07-13T23:51:00.006-04:00

It was a dark night. Like most nights. The humidity hovered while we cracked open the cards and lit the table aflame with lightning-quick precision to decide the evening's Nertz crown. The first game went decisively to me as I broke the 100-barrier, while Sensei Janet struggled to get into the double digits and flopped with a final score of 2.

The 2nd battle was a completely different tale. Sensei Janet shot rapidly up to 101 while Jessica and I wallowed in negative numbers.

And the 3rd battle went to Jessica as she moved in with portentous prowess.

The evening was pungent with power-hungry personas in the beginning, trash was talked and weighty words were levied, but as the dust settled we all went to sleep satisfied with our winnings. Congrats to all. Until the next Nertz battle.

Kingdom come to...Thomas

2009-07-08T23:49:00.009-04:00

"I used to work for the mafia."

I laughed but when I looked over at Thomas, he clearly wasn't kidding. He said that they were in control of everything and that he was basically tossed aside when things didn't work out in his favor. He was avoiding details and I couldn't really tell if he was feeding me some story or telling the truth. I figured he wasn't being truthful, but kept it to myself.

I met Thomas on my way to the grocery store today. At least two or three times a week someone on the street asks for money. The first week we moved into our apartment in Harlem a year ago, a lady stopped us on the sidewalk and told us how all she needed was something like $3.47 to last her for the week. She said she could buy beans and rice with that, nevermind the alcohol on her breath. We offered her a piece of fruit and she got angry. About six months later she tried to stop me and ask for money again. Unfortunately I was in a hurry and apologized that I couldn't stop. She was disgusted and let me know.

I'm not offended when people ask me for money. I'm usually not even annoyed. I'm saddened that I'm not treated like a person. I feel more like a target than a neighbor. I just want to see change in my neighborhood. I want to see change in this city. Jesus said to ask God that his Kingdom would come and his will would be done here like it is in heaven. What would my neighborhood and city be like if it operated more like things operate in God's Kingdom?

Thomas started asking me if I could spare some change before I was within 20 feet of him. I walked up to him and asked what his name was and gave him mine. We shook hands. He asked again if I had any money for him. I said I didn't want to give him money but I'd be glad to buy him some food. He was taken back a little by the offer. "Where at?" he asked, as if we were miles from any kind of restaurant.

We ended up at a fish market around the corner. You can buy all kinds of fresh fish and they will steam it for you right there. I've never been to the place. Thomas suggested it and I'm glad to know about it now. I spent the next 15 minutes with Thomas and we gingerly shared about ourselves. But by the end I think we each made a friend. I told him I would say hi to him if I saw him again and he said he would do the same.

I'm getting ready to go to bed on my cozy mattress next to my wife and with little Sam close by and I'm thinking about Thomas. He said he didn't know where he would sleep tonight. I hope and pray he's alright.

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Eucharist

2009-03-05T00:19:00.000-05:00

For: The Institute Of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies,St. Stephen's University, Essentials Red Online Worship History Course with Dan Wilt

Every week during our first 6 months of moving to NYC, my wife and I would share at least one meal with a group of friends. Many of those meals came before we spent time worshiping and praying together, and looking back it was often filled not only with good food, but also with sincere conversations and lots of laughs despite the simplicity of the event. As I read the chapter on the Eucharist I couldn’t help thinking about how profoundly worshipful such a simple event can be.

I realize there are cultural differences and that the “thankful” meal was probably a very powerful message in communicating God’s acceptance at his table, especially when the destitute and the affluent ate side-by-side in a culture that had no tolerance for that before Christ. But I do love the idea that we have been worshipfully engaging with one another in a manner like those early followers.

I can’t help noticing, however, that during our previous meals with friends, unlike those early Christians I wasn’t really rubbing elbows with the socially outcast at any dinner table. The idea that a meal would represent God’s new calling of us as his children no matter our worldly status is something I feel we have been missing. It makes me want to begin our meal times together in the future with some sort of recognition of how we are all invited and welcomed to God’s table. It makes me want to invite my neighbors over more and share a meal with them, engage with them, and communicate without words that they are welcome at our table just as they are at the Lord’s. It makes me want to find ways to worship over a meal with people of all kinds of backgrounds in hopes that they would see the powerful accepting work of God available to us all.

Early Christians and Prayer

2009-02-27T23:50:00.005-05:00

For: The Institute Of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies,St. Stephen's University, Essentials Red Online Worship History Course with Dan Wilt.

As I listened to the videos for Week 2 of the course, I was struck by the fact that as a Christian I come from a spiritual heritage that is deeply rich in prayer and scripture. Many of the early Christians were Jewish which meant they very likely came from a background of doing prayer and reading/hearing scripture as a lifestyle. Dan Wilt talked about how they would engage in prayer so often through their day that they lived a conversation with God. So as they began to interact with God through Christ, surely they naturally did so through their already established practices of praying and scripture reading.

Lately I have been taking inventory of my understanding and behaviors when it comes to how I worship God, and I'm a little saddened to see such a disparity between the way those early Christians prayed and my own life of prayer. But I won't dwell on that much, since I'd rather stick to the fact that more than my sadness, I've been encouraged to reflect on my Christian heritage.

I suppose that part of me envies my early Christian brothers and sisters that grew up in a culture that prayed as a lifestyle and (I can only assume) had far fewer distractions as well to deal with. But I'm sure they had much need of God's grace to simply pray as often and regularly as they did. And fortunately the same grace is available to me.

Living Prayer. Living Scripture.

2009-02-25T23:45:00.006-05:00

For: The Institute Of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies,St. Stephen's University, Essentials Red Online Worship History Course with Dan Wilt.

We live hyper lives. Compared to our early Christian predecessors our lives are jam packed with so much activity. Imagine a 1st century Christian from Rome time-warping into NYC today. What would their eyes see? What would shock them? What would they find familiar? What would they say about me after spending 1 minute, 1 hour, 1 day, 1 year with me?

They probably kept track of their friends through daily conversations. I keep track of mine by checking their status on facebook, all 328 of them. Some of them I'll actually email or even speak to during the day! They might go nuts within a few days of not ever hearing any silence. I'm typing now in my "quiet" Harlem apartment with the constant swish and hum of the dishwasher. Even when it's off I still hear the traffic 7 stories below on the street or the subtle thump of my neighbor's sound system. What silence?

I could go on, but you get the point. If I were transplanted into 1st century Rome I would probably feel quite antsy with the comparative quietness. But somehow I feel it's exactly what I need. Stillness. Pause. Quiet reflection. Prayer. And then more prayer.

I have been gathering with other Christians in my apartment over the last eight months and how interesting it is to me that in the last two of those we are focusing our activity around prayer and worship. Not the stir-me-up-so-I-can-take-on-the-world-emotionally-charged worship (which does have its place), but the quiet approach to the Father’s heart through singing scripture and praying with sincere desperation for ourselves and particularly for those that don’t yet know our Savior. It may not be as thrilling as watching the latest “Biggest Loser” on NBC or catching the next up-and-coming live artist, or psyching up for the annual March Madness frenzy. Maybe because we feel more and more that that’s all our society has to offer…madness. Our 21st century brilliance has achieved all kinds of comforts and activities. But I think our early Christian brothers and sisters had the advantage on us in this way.

They prayed 3 to 10 times a day. That sounds radical but desirable. They lived lives centered around constant interaction with God, both in solitude and in community. I want that. They were immersed in both the lifestyle of prayer and the presence of scripture as they gathered. We desperately need the same.

How can we freshly apply the worship languages of public prayer and scripture reading to our contemporary worship expression? I am sure there is a plethora of creative, fresh ways to do that. But right now all I can think of is to simply do it. I am part of (hopefully) a new, young church where we get to start with a clean slate in a way. And right now, the best answer to the question is that we simply take time to pray. Take time to listen to the New Testament letters, the Gospels, the Prophets, and to our legacy in the Old Testament. I feel like I’m copping out of being creative, but I keep thinking the phrase “keep it simple, stupid” when it comes to this issue. So I guess right now my response is to not just make room to pray and read scripture, but to focus on those practices as a lifestyle (not that I’m not already, but I often thirst for more). I know, easier said than done in one sense. More than likely, creativity must come into play in order to entice our hyper-stimulated minds. But then again, we are talking about conversing with our Creator and reading the letters to us from Almighty God. Surely our hearts will respond to Him. I hope so. In the meantime I'll be thinking of those creative ways for future application.

The Worshiping Languages: Time and Space

2009-02-20T23:43:00.000-05:00

For: The Institute Of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies,St. Stephen's University, Essentials Red Online Worship History Course with Dan Wilt.

I have been listening to the media content for Week 1 of the course and slowly soaking in this idea of Time and Space as languages of worship. The idea of repetitive rhythms being built into our worship is made possible by the simple existence of a ticking clock, or a regularly moving shadow from sunup to sundown. Time itself, provided by God, provides opportunities to regularly engage in remembering rhythms our commitments to God.

I had a conversation last week with my wife about how I'm a bit amazed at how in my walk with God I am still striving to do the "little" things well. Things like prayer, scripture reading and meditation, for example. It isn't that I do them poorly, although in judging by terms of perfection, I do. It's that I still at times have to strive to create space for them. I'm constantly battling daily pressures that would rather have my time than to allow me the luxury of remaining in the Vine like the puny branch that I am.

At times I feel I am being dragged along by the clock, but I don't believe this is how God desires it to be. He is Lord over everything including the clock. And because He created time itself, it should be a means of worshipping Him like anything else. I will be searching with more awareness for opportunities to regularly engage and be reminded of Him through rhythmic patterns of daily, weekly, yearly and lifetime moments of worship.

Time and Space (Essentials Red)

2009-02-18T00:54:00.000-05:00

For: The Institute Of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies, St. Stephen's University, Essentials Red Online Worship History Course with Dan Wilt.

I get the feeling God is laughing at me, or at least delightfully amused. As I have begun to peer into the materials for this week I feel as if I have been suddenly “un-blindfolded.” My background in a nutshell has been one of blissful blessing amidst idle ignorance when it comes to my awareness of the idea of time and space in worship.

I grew up in a church environment and continued as an adult in a church context that rarely acknowledged the church calendar in much detail, and for the most part, the idea of space, although undeniably tangible, was not really recognized. My idea of the church calendar was practically Christmas and Easter. I’m a bit embarrassed to admit that at certain seasons in my Christian walk I probably thought that every other Christian holiday was just something that one of those liturgical (boring, stuffy) churches did as part of a humdrum cycle of predictable, unaffectionate pastimes. How ridiculous! On my better days I at least would have acknowledged that there was value in observing the full calendar of worship, but probably would have thought it was not really my style. Did I mention that I thought God was laughing at me?

Through the onset of readings and videos for Week 1 of Essentials Red, I’m coming to grips with the fact that no matter how unaware I was, I have thoroughly and richly been fashioned by the actions and presence of intentional worshipers before my tiny existence and within it. How explosively captivating and at the same time refreshingly freeing it is to stumble (or is it divinely directed?) upon what feels like a whole new understanding of glorifying the One I love!

Two occasions quickly come to mind when I think of a time/place that was meaningful in my worship story. The first came during my second semester of college. A new friend approached me about starting a prayer meeting with a few other students to seek God on starting a house church on our campus. For six months we met in dingy, terribly decorated dorm rooms and tasted the presence of God together as we postured ourselves before Him and humbly asked Him to meet us and our colleagues who did not yet know Him. We started a house church the next semester at our university that I got to help lead and eventually pass off to younger classmen. I’m now trying to start a new church in NYC and we are starting off by making room for that same small space of prayer with a new group of Believers.

The second meaningful instance happened at the end of my college days. I was a voice major and a member of the university’s choir. At the end of every year the choir would give a concert in a local Methodist church right around Easter. I do not remember the name of the song we sang that brought me to tears. But I do remember the words. “No more a stranger, nor even a guest, but like a child at home.” I sang the phrase and knowing it was coming, I was in tears before I got to the first word. I remember tears streaming down my face and our choir director glancing at me mid-song. I was undone, and it was all I could do to not fall apart. I was worshipping mostly with non-believers that I was no longer called a stranger, not even a guest, but now a child at home with God.

Needless to say, I have a lot to be thankful for and a lot to learn in the coming weeks.

Essentials Red

2009-02-18T00:38:00.000-05:00

So I'm taking an online course...my first ever. It's on "Worship History and Creative Vocation" through The Institute of Contemporary and Emerging Worship Studies at St. Stephen's Univ. I'm doing it because I think there's something in it for me that will enhance my understanding of the lifestyle of worship. So, stay tuned for more...